Dear Apostle Peter
Grace and Peace to you, I decided to write to you concerning the report we heard quoted in the 3rd Chapter of the Acts which you and the other Apostles did. I would first like to congratulate you to allow the miraculous Acts which were performed through your ministries be put in one book. In my present 21st century mind I really cant comprehend that twelve Apostles allow such great acts be written and printed for the whole world for so many centuries without royalties given to a single member of the families that remained.
Today it will take a court battle to allow two apostles with the grace you hold to allow their exploits be shared in one book without the battle of royalties. Well thats not the reason why I write this letter. The third verse of this account states that you and Apostle John were going to the temple to pray. Apostle I would like to state that in our time this alone is newsworthy, to see an Apostle who walked on water going together with an Apostle who saw the Revelations of Jesus. Today we do not have Apostles who have time to walk together and let alone to go and pray. We have Apostles who are lone rangers and who are driven with the best cars in and walk with a big team of body guards and armour bearers. I do appreciate the double honor given to those who labor in the Word but I will leave today’s observation to you.
In the fourth verse you said: Look at us! Referring to the lame man. Apostle Peter! You could have said: “Look at me!” Then the camera would zoom to you and the lame man. That was amazing that you saw yourself as One with John. I pray we have more Apostles who will say like you: Look at us!
Now my dear Apostle you spoiled the whole show in verse 4 by declaring with authority: “Silver and Gold have I none!” Did your wife leave that lying low? On International television! You reveal that your family budget is that low? What about the ministry you lead? How do the members of your church feel when others are taunting them: Your Apostle does not have money! I even notice that you did not say Gold and Silver, no you said Silver and Gold! I must say I really respect how money does not define you.
Apostle these four verses of this third chapter have a lot happening in them that is in sharp contrast with what is happening today. The seventh to the eleventh verse relates the account on how this man got healed. It is noteworthy that you call upon the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, well today we say: IF I AM A PROPHET OF GOD RISE UP AND WALK! Now that’s good for branding. Apostle I will give you time to enlighten me on these matters. I will write to you the second letter to find more about the sermon you preached thereafter.
Dear Apostle Paul
We have heard that you have been arrested in Rome. We remember how the Lord peformed that jail breaking miracle when you were with Silas. We have however heard that you have not managed to break through this time. We therefore took a decision to send Apostle’s Peter jail breaking anointing oil so that you will anoint in the doors of your room every night until you breakthrough. We are worried that your arrest will lower the membership in the branch of Corinth and the opposition will poach the members. This will affect the tithes and offerings for the building fund of the auditorium. We have also hired a spin doctor to keep the church brand since the news of your arrest have already affected the viewership in the tv ministry.
We really need another jail breaking miracle at all costs, this will serve as good testimony and advert to regain the members we have already lost to the opposition. We will also suggest that you keep a low profile and do not send the epistle you wrote to the Philipians. The only thing that will revive the branches is the miracle of your release. Once that happens we will arrange a miracle crusade and revival and book you across the entire Roman Empire so that the image of the ministry will return again.Remember our people do not need doctrine or teaching to fill the churches, they need another miracle.
We have decided to keep the letter you wrote to the Corinthians because it sounds a bit harsh and will not assist in keeping the membership together. This Corinth church is our elite group and they have much needed offering in these bad times.Once again please lie low and do not allow any visits except with the permission of our Church Advocate. We would also want you to know that due to these many arrests of the Apostles we have moved our head quarters from Jerusalem to Corinth as strategic location since most of our business target market is in this area.
We therefore need to keep Corinthians happy. We have also decided to cut all the other messages you wrote and we are just emphasizing on your grace messages as well as messages of offering and prosperity. We dont want to have the church panic over persecutions and all the challenges we face at the moment. We will just pick up motivational messages on your text to keep the tv ministry running. Well we understand you may not agree with all we wrote here but sadly its good for business. Though we do not have a supporting verse for this but in our last meeting we agreed that the customer is always right.
Best regardsApostle Elect (we have also arranged for emergency ordinations in case you dont make it, that is why i am now called Apostle Elect)
Brothers and sisters this is our 21st Century response when our present Pauls face persecusions.