Dear Apostle Paul
We have heard that you have been arrested in Rome. We remember how the Lord peformed that jail breaking miracle when you were with Silas. We have however heard that you have not managed to break through this time. We therefore took a decision to send Apostle’s Peter jail breaking anointing oil so that you will anoint in the doors of your room every night until you breakthrough. We are worried that your arrest will lower the membership in the branch of Corinth and the opposition will poach the members. This will affect the tithes and offerings for the building fund of the auditorium. We have also hired a spin doctor to keep the church brand since the news of your arrest have already affected the viewership in the tv ministry.
We really need another jail breaking miracle at all costs, this will serve as good testimony and advert to regain the members we have already lost to the opposition. We will also suggest that you keep a low profile and do not send the epistle you wrote to the Philipians. The only thing that will revive the branches is the miracle of your release. Once that happens we will arrange a miracle crusade and revival and book you across the entire Roman Empire so that the image of the ministry will return again.Remember our people do not need doctrine or teaching to fill the churches, they need another miracle.
We have decided to keep the letter you wrote to the Corinthians because it sounds a bit harsh and will not assist in keeping the membership together. This Corinth church is our elite group and they have much needed offering in these bad times.Once again please lie low and do not allow any visits except with the permission of our Church Advocate. We would also want you to know that due to these many arrests of the Apostles we have moved our head quarters from Jerusalem to Corinth as strategic location since most of our business target market is in this area.
We therefore need to keep Corinthians happy. We have also decided to cut all the other messages you wrote and we are just emphasizing on your grace messages as well as messages of offering and prosperity. We dont want to have the church panic over persecutions and all the challenges we face at the moment. We will just pick up motivational messages on your text to keep the tv ministry running. Well we understand you may not agree with all we wrote here but sadly its good for business. Though we do not have a supporting verse for this but in our last meeting we agreed that the customer is always right.
Best regardsApostle Elect (we have also arranged for emergency ordinations in case you dont make it, that is why i am now called Apostle Elect)
Brothers and sisters this is our 21st Century response when our present Pauls face persecusions.